Acceptance
by MissMandS
Summary: The being in front of her is small and could be mistaken for a child in some human places. Her face is beardless but her feet are hairy, hairier than any male's that Dís has ever seen and very large. The hair there is a light, sandy blonde, the same color as the hair atop her head. She's not a creature that Dís has ever seen before. Fem!Bilbo. Part one of Femslash February.


"Do you have a place to stay for tonight?" To anyone else this would be an easy question to answer. A yes or no, a nod or shake of the head would suffice. But to the princess in exile who adjusts her hold on her wailing baby while attempting to still clutch on her older son's hand, this woman might as well be asking her why she doesn't stand up to her grandfather.

"Huh?" Is all Dís can manage as she attempts to bounce Kili in an attempt to soothe his endless cries. The being in front of her is small and could be mistaken for a child in some human places. Her face is beardless but her feet are hairy, hairier than any male's that Dís has ever seen and very large. The hair there is a light, sandy blonde, the same color as the hair atop her head. She's not a creature that Dís has ever seen before and judging by the look on her face, she's never seen a dwarrowdam. Yet here she stands, asking once more if Dís has a place to stay for the night.

"No, I don't." It's a shameful thing to admit but it's the truth. With no coins, a refusal to sell her body and a wailing child, nobody is willing to give her shelter. This being doesn't seem to notice Kili's wailing though or how Fili eyes her basketful of groceries longingly. She doesn't seem to notice either how filthy Dís' clothes or how unkempt her braids are as she gives a hum then nods, gesturing for the woman to follow after her.

"Are we going amad?" Fili asks and sounds so very hopeful that they'll follow this woman. In her arms Kili pauses in his wailing to sniffle and Dís doesn't miss the way that other people around her sigh with relief and roll their eyes. They don't want her here. They think she can't control her children and to an extent she can't. They think she's a bad parent. And to an extent, she is. That being though doesn't seem to care.

"Yes." Dís says and stands up, following after the woman who nearly disappears in the crowd of people. The being moves with a sureness that Dís once knew. With her shoulders back and her head held high people look at her with respect, some of them smiling at her. And there are some that she returns the smile too, gives them nods of respect back but mostly Dís notices, the being just walks on. It's not until they're out of the town, away from the eavesdropping people that she dares to speak to the being.

"Where are we going?" The being looks over her shoulder, the tip of her tongue flickering out to lick her lower lip.

"To Bag End, my father built it for my mother. Bilbo Baggins." She doesn't press for any answers, doesn't ask any questions and for a while the only sound is Kili's crying and Fili asking her if they're there yet. And each time she keeps telling him that she's not sure because she really isn't. And then suddenly, she finds herself staring at countless other beings like Bilbo.

Mothers sit out in their front yards, in front of strange looking houses. Some of them hold babies to their breasts while they watch over their other children and Mahal, there are groups and groups of them she notices. Young couples wander up and down the road, some holding hands and carrying baskets. Others walk alone, carrying flowers or groceries. But each of them pauses in their task to stare, eyes wide as they pass by Bilbo.

"What's the matter? Can't the Shire have an unexpected guest once in a while?" Bilbo says loudly to a group that stares a little too long. She gives Dís an apologetic look as they near a house like the others with a round green door. As they approach the door Bilbo sighs, her shoulders sagging.

"I apologize that this will be your first interaction in the Shire." Bilbo says a woman wielding an umbrella with bright clothes starts marching at them, hands on her hips. Just like Bilbo she sports enormous bare feet and curly hair but her hair is duller, her expression pinched as she stares at them.

"I've been waiting patiently for you to show up to tea and you show up with guests? Are you so rude Bilbo?" A smile tugs on the corner of her lips at the end of her sentence. Bilbo rolls her eyes and turns back towards Dís.

"Please allow me to introduce you to Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. Lobelia this is, well goodness me. I don't know your name."

"Dís and these are my boys, Fili and Kili." This seems to satisfy Lobelia who pushes past Bilbo, opening the round green door of her house and marching inside. Bilbo rolls her eyes but follows her anyways and after Fili tugs on her hand, Dís steps inside of Bag End. As the door clicks shut Kili sniffles, preparing to set to wailing again.

"He's hungry." Dís says and wonders why she feels a need to explain this to Lobelia who stands there with a somewhat scrutinizing expression. Bilbo has disappeared down the expanse of hallways, leaving her alone with this strange woman. Dís drops Fili's hand and reaches for her tunic, tugging it and lifting Kili to her breast. He latches on easily but it's to no avail, there is no nourishment left in her bod and Kili lets out another wail.

Frustration wells up in her and she lets out a sniffle of her own, her shoulders shaking with the effort to contain her sobs.

"I can't feed him. I'm a bad mother." Dís says and allows the tears to begin falling.

"Now we'll have none of that." Lobelia snaps and glares at her, hands on her hips. When Dís chances a glance at her she finds that the woman's face has softened as she guides her down the hallway.

"Some mothers can't produce for their babies. It happens, no shame in it. Bilbo, do you have any goat's milk?"

It's the quietest time that Dís can remember in a long time. It's not completely quiet. There are the little sounds: Kili sucking greedily on the nipple of his bottle, the goat's milk rapidly disappearing with each swallow. Fili: who stuffs cookie after cookie into his mouth; pausing only to wipe his mouth on the back of his already filthy sleeve. And then there is Bilbo and Lobelia who talk as if there are no filthy, smelly and homeless dwarves sitting at the table. Eventually though Lobelia leaves (with a silver spoon stuffed into her pocket Dís notices) and she's left alone with Bilbo.

"Well I imagine that you'll want the little one with you." Bilbo leans down to run a finger over Kili's soft cheek, smiling at the coo she earns.

"I have a crib that I can dig out and clean for you. And if you want for Fili to stay with you too, I've plenty of room in the guest rooms." Bilbo is smiling until she realizes that Dís is just staring at her.

"What's the matter?"

"I want to know something is all. What are you? I've not seen a creature like you before and why are you helping me?" Bilbo straightens up and looks thoughtful as she leans against the table.

"I'm a hobbit. And I'm helping you because I want to. My mother, she well….After my father's death, she faded with each passing day. And all I wanted was for someone to help us." At the mention of her of parents Bilbo's smile falters and threatens to disappear.

"Don't be sad." Fili whispers and Bilbo looks towards the small child with a genuine smile on her face once more, shaking her head.

"I'm not sad. I'm very happy actually; it's been a while since I've had any guests for luncheon. I hope you'll be staying longer. We've still got tea, dinner and supper." Bilbo pauses and Dís realizes that her jaw is hanging.

"I guess that dwarves don't do that do they?"

"It would seem that you've a lot to teach me about hobbits."

* * *

It's strange to her that she has seven meals a day, available at her disposal. The food is nowhere near as rich or fine as the food she had in Erebor, it's even better. Fili devours plate after plate, only stopping when Dís or Bilbo warn him that he's going to become ill. And Kili, in her arms, no longer wails of hunger. And the whole thing is so very strange to her.

That she has the chance to take a bath and wash her hair, the ability to wash with actual soaps and not just water. There's nobody standing right outside of the door, waiting to interrupt her and remind her of her duties as a princess, as a mother.

But despite all of this, despite Bilbo's warmth and happiness and watching her boys grow fat and happy, it doesn't make her as happy as it should. Despite the other mothers of the Shire warming up to her and some of them even trying to form a friendship with her, she cannot find herself relaxing. Because despite all of this, she still thinks of the guard she left behind.

She's never talked of the guard to Bilbo before. Their conversations are limited to the children, her life in the Shire and what she plans to do for that day. Tonight though, she cannot sleep and finds herself wandering throughout the house towards the kitchen. Bilbo sits at the table, cradling a mug of tea. Upon seeing Dís she gives her a small, somewhat weak smile.

"Would you like some tea?" Dís shakes her head and sits down across from Bilbo, crossing and then uncrossing her legs.

"I never told you the reason why I was just wandering around like that. I probably should have but I didn't. It's been on my mind every day since I was exiled and I," She takes a deep breath as Bilbo reaches across the table, resting her hand atop hers.

"I am princess Dís of Erebor, daughter of Thráin, son of Thrór, the king under the mountain. I have two older brothers, Thorin and Frerin; they could and should carry on the line of course. But dwarves, children are rare for us. So in order for us to ensure that our line would thrive my grandfather wanted me to marry. Not uncommon for politic marriages to happen in royalty." She sighs bitterly.

"So I married this man, Vili. He wasn't a bad man, mind you. I liked him well enough and he liked me. But there was a captain of the guard; she and I had grown close over the years and then when Vili was away. We spent a night together and….My grandfather found out about it, a passing servant heard us and decided to confess." Bilbo's hand reaches up, brushing Dís' cheek and she realizes that she's crying.

"My grandfather was furious with me and demanded to know who it was that I was having an affair with. I refused to out her to him. Instead I stood there and she watched as my grandfather cut the marriage braid from my hair and exiled me." Bilbo stands up from the table, coming around and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Bilbo's body is plump, warm and solid, a balm to Dís' aching heart as she sobs.

"It's okay." Bilbo whispers in her ear and begins to rock them back and forth. She repeats the phrase over and over, her lips on the shell of Dís' ear as she moves them together. Bilbo is not the guard she knows. She is not as tall, broad nor is she as thick or built. She is beardless and has no muscle. Her hands are soft, gentle as they caress Dís' face and shush her tears. She is not a dwarrowdam. There is nothing about her that is made of stone yet she is still strong and sturdy.

So perhaps that's why it feels so easy to allow Bilbo to take her into her arms, rocking her back and forth with a hum. And when Bilbo kneels down to press a kiss to the crown of her head, it feels so full of warmth and so full of love that she can't help the sigh that escapes her lips.

"How do you go on? Day after day knowing that your mother won't be here and neither will your father? That you'll be all alone?" She finds herself asking as she wraps her arms around Bilbo's thick waist.

"On the day that my mother passed, I remember taking her hands into mine and telling her that I had to tell her something. And I told her that I did not want to court a hobbit lad but a lass. And that was the reason I had put it off for so long. Then my mother just smiled at me and said I know." Bilbo pulls Dís tighter to her and the dwarrowdam relishes in the warmth that she radiates and the sweet honey scent she gives off.

"My mother's time on this earth is over as is my father's. But mine is not. I have opportunities to court if I wish, lasses to fall in love with if my heart sees fit for me to do which it hasn't yet. But if the day comes that I do, then I know that I've my mother's blessing on it. And even if there is no one here to help me or support me, I will not fade."

"I don't know if I have," Dís trails off. She will never have her grandfather's blessing she knows. Her parents and her brother's, she has no idea. But here in front of her is a hobbit, cradling her and holding her like she might float away if Bilbo lets go.

"You have mine." Bilbo promises and presses a kiss to her forehead, down her nose and across her cheeks.

"The boys," Dís begins as Bilbo nears her lips. Bilbo hovers there, her eyes on Dís' as she smiles.

"We'll teach them acceptance." And with that she closes the distance between them. Bilbo tastes as sweet as she smells, of honey and cookies. As she opens her mouth, granting Dís permission to explore, she tastes the remaining traces of her tea. As they pull away from each other she thinks of the guard and wonders if she would give Dís her blessing, if she would even care. Then she finds herself staring at Bilbo, at eyes full of acceptance and support and allows herself to fall forward until their foreheads touch.

* * *

So I've decided to do Femslash February, the Hobbit edition! I already have a couple of ideas in mind: Oin/Tauriel, Bilbo/Balin and Galadriel/Dwalin. Yesssss, you read those right :3 I never thought I would type those honestly. I actually posted this a day early on my aO3 account since it wasn't February where I live and I wanted to get a head start because this week is my birthday week and it will be a little bit busy.

Please, please, please leave me reviews on what couples you would like to see! I am okay with incest and rare pairings.


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